after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
