I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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