shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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