He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
