mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
