Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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