Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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