You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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