Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You are the jesus of drinking
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
