I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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