My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize