Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
