Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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