ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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