i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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