..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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