Nicole vs. Life
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
