I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
