guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
