i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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