so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize