what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
