Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
