God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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