R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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