So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
