there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
