So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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