bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A bitchslap is in order.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
