i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
