Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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