I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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