i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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