i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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