so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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