Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
