My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
