Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Randomize
