Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
