from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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