Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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