Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
