For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
