The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
