I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
