So drunk its hurt
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
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Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS