Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.