there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.