So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
