I should be sponsored by Trojan
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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