He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
