So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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