yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
