I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
