I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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