I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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