sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize